We are moving house, and it is awful. So, so awful.
When doing the 'inspection circuit' of a Saturday morning, you
tend to see the same array of zany characters each and every time.
It's like a bad sitcom. I describe some of the characters as so:
- The Powercouple: This is the 'almost-married' couple who are
trying to get a two bedroom apartment in the hope to, one day,
fill it with a baby. They turn up to every inspection 5 minutes
early, and they're both wearing suits (even though it's a
Saturday). They know the lingo and how to do business.
Unfortunately, neither of them have a soul.
- The Dooshbag: This is the guy who's first in line to tell the
agent 'just how much they love the place'. They are usually ugly.
They like to all-of-a-sudden act like they're best mates with the
agent, cracking pathetic jokes at every chance to show just how (un)memorable
and (not)hilarious they are. Everyone hates this guy. Including
The Lowies: These are the two guys who turn up with
bloodshot eyes, wearing dirty tracksuits. At first you think they
might be being ironic, but then you smell the crack on their
breathe and you realise that these guys are the real deal,
probably haven't slept, and are definitely only interested in the
place to scope out it's methlab-sized bathroom. If these guys get
the place, say goodbye to the carpet. Unless you like the fresh
aromas of bong water.
- The Friendly Couple: Nice guys finish last. These are the couples
that say "Hi" to each other at each new inspection. They chat and
pretend like the whole rat-race of the inspection circuit is
ridiculous, but - if given the opportunity - would happily gouge
out the eyes of anyone else inspecting just to get 'that place
with the modern kitchen'. Don't trust these guys. Sure they're
friendly, and they smile alot... but so did Bonnie and Clyde.
- The Real Estate Agent: Don't fuck with this guy / gal. He wants
to be working on a Saturday morning about as much as you want to
watch your Uncle take a shit. Not to mention - he has 8 of these
inspections today, which means 8 different opportunities to deal
with the various dickwads that I've just mentioned. He's seen it
I fit somewhere between all of this....
We have two weeks to find a place to live, otherwise I'm going to
be the next Ziggy. (<---
Heritage Brisbane Reference)
Man, some funny shit went down last Saturday night.
We had heaps of beer at the show, and then we went back to a
comedy club in town afterwards to catch up with some other comics
and some shit went down between two comics and they ended up
getting into a scuffle. Good times. Anyone who thinks comics don't
take things seriously should've seen these two puppies scrapping.
I wish I could remember more of it.
My Sydney Comedy
Festival show's going well. Sold out on the first night. That is good.
Second night was fun. Third night rocked. I think someone has
written about it, but I'm too scared to read it.
Two shows to go.
I just met this guy at a sushi train in Newtown who said he's
coming to my show tonight (and quite rightly pointed out the irony
of finding me in a sushi train...). He posted this on Twitter.
Still not trending....
Turns out he is in an Electro-indie
band called "No Device". They did this remix of Washington's "Cement":
My Sydney Comedy Festival show opens tomorrow night. I'm quite
nervous. Tickets are selling pretty well, so make sure you don't
leave it to the last minute as they might sell out. Click on
poster below to buy tix.
I'm starting to feel old. There was a time in my youth when I
genuinely thought that I would have an Oscar by now.
Had GREAT fun at the Sydney Comedy Festival CRACKER Night at the
Seymour Centre last night! Thanks to everyone who came and laughed
heaps n shit. I wish every gig was in a theatre. The beauty
playing in theatres (as opposed to the stinky pubs we usually play
in) is that there's very rarely three old dudes in the back of the
room who are pissed off because you've interrupted their TAB
If you enjoyed last night's show, definitely check out my Sydney
Comedy Festival Show. Just click the poster to the right! ------>>
Thanks to Nvl Ution for the poster too.
See you at the Factory!
Disco-Matt MC ft Dinnertime Duke - The Tipping Point
Odd Future & Vivid...
I did my first gig at
Comedy Club last night. It's a new club in Kings Cross, and I
have to say that it's potential to offer audiences a rather unique
experience is exciting.
I think comedy in Sydney - in general - is hitting a really good
point at the mo.
Things are about to boom,
Channel NINE just told me
that 13 year old kids were found drinking last night. I could've
told them that. I remember walking through Sunnybank with my
friends in year 9 and eventually settling down at a cafe near KFC
where we bought.... wait for it.... 3 West Coast Coolers.
Can you believe it?
I actually think that was the last time I ever drank one of those.
How sad. We walked home with our arms around each other's
shoulders, pretending to be drunk.
Approximately 4 months later, I was at the Girls GPS Swimming
'after-party' at Lisa and Joanne Lamond's house (two hot sisters
from school), and I got introduced to 'goon' for the first time.
That was a game-changer.
Do you think goon-makers release their products, knowing damn well
that 15 year olds are the only people drinking it?? Or do you
think they make it with the most sincere delusions of adult
enjoyment?? I guess we'll never know.... (cue mysterious music).
And if you do know, keep it to your freakin' self!
I had heaps of fun on FBi Radio last night, and I have to thank Ryan
Withers for playing two of my tracks. It was Disco-Matt MC's first
trip across the radio waves and I hope you guys liked that shit.
So - a couple of weeks ago, my main collaborator, manager, and #1
Hype-man, Dinnertime-Duke, sent me a message saying "Have you
heard about this guy called
Childish Gambino? He's a comedian who
used to write on 30 Rock and he's just released a hip-hop EP on
his web site."
I actually felt quite threatened. I can't compete with that.
Gambino is fully sick though.
The fullest sickest.
People ask me whether Disco-Matt MC is supposed to be funny
because they 'don't get it'. I want to punch them in the face.
The irony of comedians wanting to be taken seriously, is not lost
It's like a stripper bringing out a clothing
You'd just be like, "but.... Really??"
If Childish Gambino ever tours Australia, I'm going to be
commencing a #Disco4Gambinoman campaign to play as the support
I received a brand new phone from
Nokia this week too. It is
definitely fully sick. A few weeks ago, I spent the night at the
FilmInk iPad App launch
where I had met a girl who worked for Apple, and I decided to tell
her how much I can't stand their products. I guess we didn't see
eye-to-eye. Anyway, I went home and pledged my support to some
peeps at Nokia and they kindly sent me a new phone. Nokia is the
best, and I am a rockstar.
which - our new music collective is well and truly starting to
sprout. The Boilermakers
are ready to make a splash. Definitely check out our new blog. It
hasn't gone totally live yet, so I shouldn't even be mentioning
it, but I wanted to let you know that the ball's rolling. It's
going to be a place of like-minds. From both ends of the creative
and enjoyment spectrum. Get into it!
Also - If anyone saw me in Cleo
Magazine apparently giving sex tips, please take it as another
reason to not believe anything you read in those mags.
Disco-Matt MC is alive and well. Don't forget to download
"Cereal, Bro" by clicking that banner on the left!
The streets is watchin'.
I am constantly
missing my friends in Brisbane.
I had such a great time doing gigs at the
Sit-Down Comedy Club last
the place where my comedy career was born. I saw all of my favourite people, two friends got married, and a close family
friend also died. It was a memorable trip. Although I wish I
forgot the bit where I ended up at the
Normanby Hotel on a Sunday.
Dinnertime and I have just laid an egg that will soon grow into a
label. I can promise you that it will be the shit.
In rather exciting news - The Future Machine has been accepted
into the 2nd Annual Los Angeles Web Series Festival! We are all
rather chuffed about this.
You may also have seen our film "Bird Therapy" (above) by the
HDC Productions crew at
Tropfest 2011! Thanks so much
to everyone who helped us get into the finals of what is the
biggest short film festival in the world. It really means a lot,
and is an experience that is on many Australian filmmakers' lists.
I have one beef with the night though: They closed the bar
half-way through the screenings!
I almost cried.
That is no way
to be treating "(not) Very Important People"...
everyone who loves the film! Watch it above, share it with your friends, and
please don't forget about The Future Machine! We need
lots of love leading up to the festival.
Peace out, homies.
The streets is
For The Die-Hards...!
Some of you may
know that over the last 8 or so years, I have been tinkering with
some fully-sick beats in my bedroom. Every now and then, I release
these miniature masterpieces to the world in the form of an
onlline EP, usually once every 2 years, and today - ladies and
gentlemen - marks the release of my 4th effort.
"Cereal, Bro?!", this EP is basically a snapshot of my life over
the past two years after moving to Sydney, working my ass off, and
going nowhere for it. It's funny, honest, and fulllllly sick. If
you think it's a CD of stand-up, then don't bother. It's just
homemade hip-hop from me, and my main man, Dinnertime Duke, and I
sincerely hope you enjoy it.
alternatively, just listen / download using the media player you
can see on the left of this page.
Make sure to
share it with all of your friends (especially the ones that work
at SONY), and don't forget to check out the latest episode of
The Future Machine!!
from Disco-Matt & Dinnertime Duke. It's been an interesting year.
getting FULLLLLLY SICK in 2011!
P.s. Thanks to
all of my favourite people for making it to the official "Cereal,
Bro?!" Launch Party last night! Special thanks goes to Alex
Fahquar (aka DJ SirLoin) & The
Caxton Hotel for having me,
Henry Stone (aka Jaydos)
for hosting, and - of course - world #1 hype-man Dinnertime Duke
for helping me bring the ruckus. Restepa.